Spending time away from writing my blog is showing me exactly how valuable my blog is for my emotional wellbeing!
My partner was away for a couple of weeks and he has now been back for just over a week, during which time I have spent zero time on my blog.........
Gradually over the time since I last worked on my positive writings poor, thought patterns have set in, gloom has entered the room, in fact an entire herd of spiny lesser spotted doom mongers have taken up residence in my thought world.
Why? Why? Why? Why can't it be simple? Why should I have to work so hard at being happy in the world? Why is there no magical cure, no Panacea? Eh?
Of course being poor thought forms I could waste masses of time on the whys, I could whittle away hours, days and weeks wondering why and wishing I was different, better, more suited to modern life; and what would I achieve? Most likely Nothing, nada, zilch, other than perhaps a whole entourage of increasingly menacingly negative thoughts and feelings beseeching the world to magically alter my faulty, infuriating, defective brain.
Blah blah blah blah...... Boring Boring Boring, it's so boring.
What is so boring? Allowing myself to focus on everything that is wrong, and at the moment in particular wondering why things are wrong, because mostly likely I will never find out, so as his holiness the Dali Lama says:
"If there is no solution to the problem then don't waste time worrying about it. If there is a solution to the problem then don't waste time worrying about it. "
So goodbye Why, have a nice day, see you again soon but hopefully for a more enjoyable reason.....
Because I do have a solution! How fantastic, I really do have something that helps, something on which I can depend when I need to find a way to feel better. I have my blog. My little tiny bloggy woo.
Ah! Now I am having warm feelings towards myself (a rather drastic improvement on yesterdays thoughts), Thank you me of the past, thank you me of last year. I did a great thing! I started looking for ways to feel good and now I have a resource to help me.
I thought that I was going to write about something quite different today, but as so often happens the moment has taken over!
It is all too easy for me to take myself for granted, and to miss all that I do which is great,
Focus is so utterly crucial for me!
I am sure the list of what I do that is great is very long, part of me doesn't want to make one incase it is short but that is just another thought, thoughts are not real, (what is real? That is a question for another day, here is one of my favourite thought on reality from a past blog post: "Take me or you for example, when I touch you physically, I am not really touching you! this is because we are all mostly space; imagine our bodies, in fact every physical thing, being made of molecules, and each atom in our molecules is a bubble of electrons around a infinitesimally small nucleus, all chained together to make a frogs spawn like structure of mostly space. We are an atomic sponge which when we come in to contact with other physical things, like each other, our electrons repel each other giving the illusion of touch. In reality (if you'll excuse the pun) we do not touch at all and if electrons did not exist we would all just blend into one and other. we are all mostly space and the space we all occupy is connected, a little like being in one infinite ocean all together.")
Ah yes, Focus, I could focus on why, or all that is wrong with me, or I can focus on what I can do to feel great and what better way than by focusing on my own greatness. At times this could seem like an impossible challenge, like slaying a minotaur or snogging Medusa, so on those occasions I could start small, for example, I cook a great pasta sauce which my children always eat all of without complaining, indeed they usually make happy eating comments! I can be relied upon to make a delicious chocolate cake at the drop of a hat! I am very good at finding things my children have lost, and so on.
I think what I am trying to say here is that we are in control of what we think, our thoughts are the one thing in life which we can reliably choose, and however minor my successes are when I think about them I feel better than when I think about what I might term my 'failures', and when I focus on something which feels good I am on my way to feeling great.
Feeling great is a place which I can visit, it is a place where I can stay, I am welcome there, I am happy there and it belongs to me.
I deserve to feel great.
We all deserve to feel great.
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my blog
Today I have Loving Gratitude for choice
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my ability to make delicious food
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the food in my cupboards
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the courgettes growing in my garden
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my garden
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the rain
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the sun drying my laundry on the washing line
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my friends
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my baby's smiles