Today I have been noticing just how often I don't do the things for myself which make life enjoyable!
What an utterly crazy notion! To know what it is that makes me feel good, and on so many levels, physically, emotionally and spiritually, and to not do them!
Surely this is utter insanity!
What on earth is going on? I do wonder!!!
I got to thinking about this because I was sitting upstairs, leaning over and writing on the laptop which was perched on such a low table that poor posture was the only thing which would allow me to continue! I was reading a past post A Recipe For Joy! and was realising that I have not been following my own advice (!?) and that I would definitely benefit from sitting up straight and having a glass of water.
So what did I do then? Absolutely nothing! Yes, I know it's bonkers........ I continued to lean, dehydrate and write until my back hurt so much that I could no longer ignore it, and then I got up and moved downstairs to a higher table, made a hot water bottle for my back and drank a large glass of water.
This is just the kind of thing parents nag their children about every day (or at least I imagine it is and that is the important thing here). Stand up straight, it's good for your posture, drink plenty of water, it flushes out the system, eat some fruit, it's better for your body than sugar..... and the list goes on. Why do parents do this? I believe we are hoping that it will help our children to make informed decisions about their lives so that they grow up healthy and strong and live long and prosper, or is that Star Trek?
Star Trek or not we all grow up (at least physically) eventually and leave home (in most cases) where we live without our mums and dads and have to follow our own guidance.
So why don't I do the things which I know are good for me?
Here I am again back on the endless whys!
Can I skip the whys? Is it important to know why things are as they are? Surely it is better to simply move on to the solution (if there is one), or simply forget about it?
When I ask myself why, I only come up with the lame answer of "I can't be bothered" or "I don't care enough". So why is entirely unsatisfying.
It just zipped into my brain that perhaps I am afraid of what I could become if I did all the things which I know would enhance, enliven and make juicy my experience of life!
I don't have all the answers, I haven't suddenly changed because of this knowledge, no merging of realities has occurred, no bells are ringing in sheer joy at my discovery.....
I would like to start parenting myself, perhaps now is the time to start being my own mum, at least when my mum is not around! Perhaps now is the time to experiment with doing all the things which I know are good for me?
Adolescence is generally regarded as the stage following the onset of puberty, wherein the person develops from childhood into adulthood, adolescents are famous for taking risks and neglecting the things which they could do to look after themselves.
Help! Am I a thirty seven year old adolescent? Yeah, but no, but seriously.........
I like the idea of the initiation into adulthood which tribal people are known to still practice, it seems to me that there does need to be some kind of marking of the moment when it becomes the time to look after ourselves to our best ability. As a mother I do a great job of looking after other people, but up until recently I have neglected my own needs. Perhaps I can create a little ceremony to mark my graduation to adult life, even if it is a few years later than it could have been.
I can't be bothered, is a cop out.
I'm going to do my best!
Doing my best is always a reward in itself! Now is the time to do the things which I know will benefit me!
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the water which hydrates me
Today I have Loving Gratitude for all the tribal peoples of the world
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my children
Today I have Loving Gratitude for paper lampshades
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my hearing
Today I have Loving Gratitude for love and kisses
Today I have Loving Gratitude for sunshine through prisms
Today I have Loving Gratitude for rainbows
Today I have Loving Gratitude for the power of thought
Today I have Loving Gratitude for my mum!