So I am back writing my blog! I am not sure how often I am going to write, but at the moment I am planning to write two or three times a week, and the rest of the time that I would normally be blogging I shall be consolidating all that I have learnt so far on my quest to think good feeling thoughts and achieve self-mastery in order to write some sort of hand book to which I can refer during the dark times of my soul (which of course I am hoping not to have any of, but it can't hurt to be prepared just in case!).
So today is going pretty well so far! and considerably better than yesterday, which is always a good sign! Yesterday I was tetchy! I couldn't quite put my finger on it but I was short tempered about pretty much everything! No particular reason! Days like that trouble me, when I can't figure out why I feel irritable I can often end up feeling a bit confused and unsettled. I get caught up in the 'why?'
Surely it must mean something? Why must it? Of course along comes the 'Everything happens for a reason' school of thought, which I must say where I live is more than just a school of thought, it's more like a belief! I'm on the fence about that one, however if everything did happen for a reason it's also highly probable that one may never find out the reasons for half the things that happen!
Life the Universe and everything is so complicated! and yes, it is rocket science! Apparently yesterday the blue moon in pisces was to blame for pretty much everything! And that is exactly my point, if my moods are subject to things like the moon or astronomy I really do have a bats (or was that rats?) chance in hell of divining the 'why' for which I might be jolly, irritable or imaginative at any point in time!
So, yesterday I was irritable, and it would have been a darn sight easier if I had remembered to just give my self a break! I could have allowed myself to be irritable, perhaps I might have then been able to see the funny side of it (it probably was quite funny from the outside anyway). I am always trying to be so damn nice! Mustn't upset anyone after all, I would always like to put other people's feeling first. So I felt ashamed of my short temper, I felt embarrassed and clumsy.
So here I am again, learning to be kind to myself! I can't always be perfect, likeable and serene! Sometimes the stars simply have other plans for me. In this experience there lies a whole beautiful selection of lovely learning!
Each moment I could accept myself exactly the way I am right now!
Each moment I could take myself less seriously!
Each moment I could be kind to myself and allow irritability as part of life's dance
Each moment I could simply go with the mode of the day, hour or minute and see what I become.......
I am sure perfection lies somewhere inside imperfection and beauty cannot exist without its flaws. I am told that perfect symmetry is not as beautiful to the human observer as asymmetry!
Ha! This surely means my irritable days are just as important for my wholeness and my beauty as my serene mother Theresa days, and everything in between! Hooray I have just found a reason to be pleased with my irritation! We are not supposed to be perfect all the time, life is a dance...........
Today I am thankful for Divine Inspirations
Today I am thankful for my glasses even though they are bent broken and squashed!
Today I am thankful for well written inspiring books
Today I am thankful for the moon
Today I am thankful for the stars
Today I am thankful for candle light
Today I am thankful for electricity
Today I am thankful for the reclamation yard so full of quirky things
Today I am thankful for statues
Today I am thankful for Love