All this talking about thinking has led me to start thinking about talking. I love talking, I love sharing information and ideas with other people. I particularly enjoy people who can talk for hours about subjects which I know nothing at all about. It has always amazed me how some people can get fixed on one or two interests and seem to go about acquiring information on them until they know pretty much everything there is to know on their specialist subject, I think these people often get called boffins or specialists, I admire these people immensely and I wonder what their thought processes are like. For example do they get overly concerned with image? are they self critical? do they care what I think? Perhaps if you are one of them and you find yourself reading this you could let me know? I would particularly like to know if specialists find themselves talking negative nonsense?
I really enjoy interacting with other people, but sometimes I find it very hard, and there are two main reasons for this:
Number 1: if somebody wants to talk about something which feels negative. You see I get stuck; I don't want to collude, I don't enjoy colluding and I don't think its helpful, I also think collusion can reinforce negative thinking. In addition to this I am rather good at empathising, TOO good in fact, I can end up taking it on, or I just go through the situation with the other person and can leave feeling upset as if I have soaked their feelings up like a sponge.
Number 2: if they ask me leading questions, like "how are you?" this seems like quite a normal innocent question at first glance, it probably gets said about a million times a day, but to me it is a wolf in sheep's clothing! How am I? I take it it's a question requiring a literal answer? At times it's almost like a cue for negativity.
What on earth am I talking about? The thing is occasionally I love a good moan!! yes I have said it! There is something in my makeup that has been addicted to talking about certain kind of things, things which seem to hold a lot of energy, and those things are invariably negative, I am going to write a couple of examples just to illustrate the point (honestly not so I can moan!) Usually they are things which get a big response of interest from the person to whom I am talking. It's obvious now I see it in black and white; its just an easy way of getting energy, easy because a lot of people are more than happy to partake - the energy must move both ways. So here goes:
"I'm so broke at the moment..."
"My car broke down yesterday...."
"So and so wronged me...."
Anyway I had to make them up otherwise I might have been moaning!! But you get the idea? If I'm going to be successful in changing the way I think to CHOOSING GOOD FEELING THOUGHTS, I believe it is paramount to also change the way I talk, and CHOOSE JOYFUL FEELING CONVERSATIONS.
Imagine how it would feel if everyone you met up with in the street, or chose to hang out with only talked about all the great things they were experiencing, and although it's true, we all experience genuine distress at times, and sharing it is very valid with the right people for the right reasons but I'm not talking about that. I mean habitual doom mongering, sensationalising dramas and just plain wingeing. I think it is habitual and although I have broken the habit, I do sometimes catch myself unawares CHOOSING TO TALK ABOUT THE WRONG THINGS for no good reason!!
If I'm to continue socialising and I love being with friends, then both vigilance and imagination are required .......
So let me tell you about my day.......
It was a beautiful blue sky his morning when I opened my curtains, the birds were singing and I could see the hills clearly in the distance. I had a comfortable morning cuddling my baby and when we searched online we easily found a remedy to soothe baby's earache. I finished all my paperwork and it flowed beautifully and took less time than I expected, so I was able to take my time getting ready to collect my other daughter from school. In town everyone was jolly and we saw lots of people who fill my heart with gladness for knowing them. We bought our weeks shopping, were reminded of a show we had forgotten we were planning to see, and we came home in time for a delicious dinner. Tonight I'm going to watch a movie I haven't seen for fifteen years called 'All of Me' its funny and heartwarming and I feel very excited to get to see it again.
I am So Thankful for the ability to see the beauty in the world when I look for it
I am Thankful for the spirit that moves people to clown around
I am Thankful for delicious food
I am Thankful for surprises
I am Thankful for my healing
I am Thankful for smiling faces
I am Thankful for your happy stories
I am Thankful for my cup of tea
I am Thankful for meringue
I am Thankful for my daughters willfulness!