It is a stunningly beautiful day today, the sky is completely blue as far as the eye can see, it is truly awesome!
It feels like Spring! Spring has Sprung!!!
I am tremendously excited, I have made it through the winter!!! I have been writing this for sixty days, that is half way to my goal of writing my blog for one hundred and twenty days nonstop (although now I'm sure I will carry on long after the one hundred and twentieth day).
My excitement is not about the achievement of writing for sixty days though although I do feel pleased about that, it is for the fact that I feel like I have made it through the winter! Yes, I have managed to choose good feeling thoughts every day ever since my revelation on the 15th of November, that I am not at the mercy of my thoughts.
I feel as if I have proved to myself that I do not have to surrender to what ever my mind happens to be focused on, I no longer have to helplessly flail about while my mind conjures up dark images to frighten me, or while my thoughts endlessly berate me or regurgitate old stories for me to wring out every last drop of missed opportunity.....
I am not a victim to the endless babble of the thought stream! My job now is simple, I steer and guide my thoughts, I gently lead them through the beauty of the world, I am returning to the realm of God, I am creating with my mind and using it as an incredible tool for joy for which I believe it was intended.
No more the weeping for imagined sadness, no more the criticism for the perceived 'faults'. I am as spirit made me: Perfect in every way. By perfect I do not mean without flaw, an unattainable ideal, as would be the traditional understanding of the word perfect, I simply mean 'as I should be'.
I first discovered the true meaning of perfect while out walking, I often used to pass a couple of gnarly old oak trees and every time I would stop and soak up their beauty, I fell in love with those two tress, in summer the branches would be hidden by a stunning leafy array, but in winter the trunk and branches would be revealed, naked to the sky. Those branches are bent, they are broken, dead parts dangling ground-wards in places, they are lumpy and bumpy and covered with moss and burrs and as such they are still, to my eyes and to my heart, utterly perfect and beautiful in every way.
One day as I looked upon their glory I really noticed that beauty is rarely unflawed, imagine a clean flat surface or perhaps one colour, no marks no lines no bulges........
No evidence of life.
Even water when it is standing has image, perhaps the reflection of the sky or nearby trees, the underwater scene of weeds and fishes may be visible, ripples may disrupt the surface, pond skaters may dimple it's surface.
Perhaps the dessert is flawless? But even the shifting sands hold the evidence of the sun, the wind and the weather, dying plants blow across its surface and dunes shift and change with the time.
I cannot think of anything Natural and Earth grown that I find beautiful that is 'flawless'.
We are all perfect in our imperfections, our scars and lines and rough edges are often the things which make us the most beautiful, our unevenness and lack of symmetry are a signs of life.
I feel magnificent and triumphant today, I feel successful and most of all I now know I can look to my next winter with a different frame of mind, I need no longer to look outside of myself for the sunshine....
"For here is where the sun shines and here is where the sky is blue,
My heart's where the birds do sing, my peace comes from within. "
I wrote the above stanza about six years ago, it is the chorus of one of my songs, and I now feel that I truly understand what it means. I always wanted it to be true for me and I always knew it was possible, I just did not know how to find it within myself.
I can find the sunshine inside myself when I look for good feeling thoughts and actively practise thinking them. I am going to keep working hard with my mind, I am going to keep trying every day to be the best I can be and to learn to see the sunshine behind the clouds in every season.
Today I am thankful for the sunshine which allowed me to stay outside all day
I am thankful for all the supportive comments I have had about my blog
I am thankful for new possibilities
I am thankful for the opening up feeling which clearing out clutter brings
I am thankful for my baby's cheeky grin
I am thankful when I find buried treasure digging in my garden
I am thankful when my children help around the house
I am thankful when my baby has a really good sleep and wakes up smiling at the world
I am thankful when my children make each other laugh
I am thankful when my children make me laugh too