So funny! I woke up in the night, which is no unusual thing for me, and it came to me exactly what I would write about today, I was really pleased, it was juicy and interesting and profound!
Now I can't remember what it was!
It was so poignant and so clear, I was totally sure I would of course remember it and now I don't!
I choose to laugh about this! I choose to be glad for all the times I do remember to do and say things which are important to me!
I am still working on the way I talk to myself, I often catch myself saying things out loud, to my children, or in my head which are actually really self critical! In fact I can remember a few years ago how my children used to call me "sieve head"!!!
Well what's wrong with a bit of good humoured teasing? What is right about it?
Fun is fun because it feels harmonious, no it's better than that, real fun makes us smile inside as well as outwardly! Fun feels good because we enjoy it, perhaps it is exhilarating, maybe it is heart warming, or perhaps it just makes us laugh so hard that our smiles ache afterwards.
I also think there is nothing whatsoever wrong with laughing at ourselves, in fact I think it is very important, I definitely don't want to take myself too seriously! How boring that would be for me and possibly detrimental to my health and well being!!!
Which is why I am striving to learn to be less self critical, even in a so called 'fun' or 'jokey' way.
I did something a bit daft earlier, I forget what it was (obviously nothing worth remembering) but I said out loud to my baby "silly mummy, mummy is a fool" Why on earth would I want to teach my little baby to talk down to herself? There is a great deal of research to confirm that children emulate their parents, and some people may think it's cute or sweet to hear a small child say "oh silly me" but is it? Really???
I want to develop my self esteem and hopefully by doing so I will pass on high self esteem to my children. I want them to value themselves, to value their precious human lives and to have a great time here on planet earth.
As soon as I caught myself saying I was a fool, I stopped and made up a little song about how mummy is brilliant and so is baby, and I sang it for a while, my baby relaxed and smiled and then went to sleep. Good.
I believe we are never to young (or old) to start learning to choose good, useful thoughts. We are never to young or old to recognise our own magnificence! Even when I feel the most dreadful and the most devastated that I can get I can still find a tiny thing to like about myself, however small it may be, it is IMPORTANT!! That tiny thing is the route back to well being, that one tiny thing when concentrated upon will grow and multiply in my thoughts and lead me home to GOOD FEELING THOUGHTS!
I want my children to always search for and reach for the positive which exists all around them. I want them to notice that the world is magical, incredible and astonishing, and the best way that I can do that is to do it for myself.
I hereby declare that I will strive everyday to stop taking the incredibleness of the world and of my own being for granted. And the best possible way for me to do that is to direct and guide my thoughts to a trickle of harmonious thoughts, that way I will be able to be still enough in my mind to actually see, smell, hear, taste and touch the Magnificence of Creation here on Earth!
Have you looked at the stars lately? Have you noticed their Brilliance? Really? Stars? Tiny but enormous dots of light making their way to our eyes from so far away that I can't really comprehend it!
Enough of this playing small!
I am reminded of a speech often credited to Mandela but actually by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Yes let us all notice how brilliant we are and speak of it at least to ourselves and our children.
Today I am Thankful for all the stars in the sky
I am thankful for the mystery or life
I am thankful for poster paints
I am thankful for windmills
I am thankful for the very hungry caterpillar
I am thankful for the myriad of colourful butterflies in the world
I am thankful for my glasses
I am thankful for head space whenever I get it
I am thankful for my bath tub and the opportunity to lie in it and doze
I am thankful for poetic inspiration