Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Hold on to your smile - it's a bumpy ride!


Today I was excited to be able to put into practice my new response to bad news (see yesterday's post for my new response -Being at Peace with the 21st Century Nitty Gritties), the bad news I received today was actually sad, disappointing news. I am used to that genre of news leading my mind up the garden path, down the road and through the hedge into the stream of miserable "nothing goes right for me" thoughts, especially in the winter!

I am delighted to say that thanks to my commitment to Choosing Good Feeling Thoughts over the last twelve weeks I was not floored by the disappointment, I did not crumble! Yes I was really sad for a few minutes, there is nothing wrong with feeling sad, but I Chose to shift my focus to thoughts about how sad things may happen for a reason and the beauty of it will eventually be revealed, and how the final outcome will be the right thing. Next I thought of as many things as I could in my life that I feel grateful for and in doing so I was able to move swiftly on with my day.

I am not suggesting that in the face of genuine tragedy one should simply ignore the trauma and move on, but that with ordinary every day disappointment and minor sadness there is no reason to be swept into despair.

I do believe however that with any sad event it is important not to allow our minds to run away with themselves and chew over the same thoughts over and over again. Indeed I think it is paramount when really sad things happen to allocate proper quality time to mourning our losses for how ever long or often is needed, but not to let the thoughts and feelings become all consuming,  we should endeavor to spend time in beautiful places and with lovely people, and spend the majority of the time noticing all the things there are in our amazing astounding world to feel good about to feel grateful for.

Once I get started noticing everything, however small, that there is to be grateful for in my world, once the ball begins rolling the thoughts seem to find their own momentum, more and more HAPPY FEELING THOUGHTS come merrily along, I start to feel happy and relaxed, sublime even. I especially like to find the tiniest thing I can to feel grateful for like the springs in clothes pegs  - they are brilliant! or edible glitter  - tiny dots of sparkly fun which you can actually eat!

     Life is too short to spend more time than is absolutely necessary
        feeling miserable or thinking unpleasant feeling thoughts!

Before I discovered that I had a choice in what I thought about and that I can CHOOSE GOOD FEELING THOUGHTS ANY TIME I LIKE NO MATTER WHAT MY EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES, I spent a very large amount of my time feeling sad, lonely, tired, bored, angry, irritated and all manner of other negative unpleasant feelings. I just tried to work out a percentage figure of how much time it actually was, but that would actually be impossible and would waste more of my precious human life doing something unnecessary! Suffice to say it was a lot of my time!

People used to often say to me that I was laid back, calm, relaxed or easy going, and it used to make me laugh inside because it was so far from the truth because in absolute honesty I was far from it, I was uptight and really unkind to myself! My critical thought processes made it very hard for me to be pleased with much that I did and much that others did around me. I finally feel comfortable admitting that I was frequently kind to people just because I wanted their approval (perhaps because I did not have my own), I put everyone else first most of the time, valuing their feelings and needs over mine, which ultimately led to more unspoken animosity and resentment!

I feel so free now, I do not give one minute of time to self criticism anymore, if I spot it occurring in my thoughts I jump on it straight away, I do not allow it to pollute my day. If I catch myself thinking badly of others I shift my gaze to something more wholesome, or ask myself if there is something for me to learn there? If I don't feel like sharing I don't share, if I put others first it is because I want to be kind simply because it feels good.

I am really beginning to understand fully that my life is charmed, my experience of the world is coloured by the thoughts which I choose, I am a powerful being and my power resides in taking charge of everything I can - I think thoughts which serve me and I look for the beauty of my world.

Today I feel gratitude for my tiny and perfect eyelashes
I feel gratitude for coloured drawing pins
I feel gratitude for tiny money spiders
I feel gratitude for the miniature screws which hold my glasses together
I feel gratitude for safety pins which have so often held up my trousers 
I feel gratitude for buttons of all shapes and sizes
I feel gratitude for needles and pins because I love sewing
I feel gratitude for pencils and erasers
I feel gratitude for paper clips
I feel gratitude for African and Indian elephants

love Klara.

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