I would like to use my blog today as a way of talking myself into feeling warm, happy, excited, I would like to feel bright and breezy, open hearted, vibrant and enthusiastic.
So what are those feelings like?
Warm: warm is cosy,wrapped up next to a roaring fire in winter, watching the flames, dreaming with them, being hypnotised into a delicious trance of twisting turning orange and red crackling fire......
Happy: happy is smiling, laughing, getting the joke, feeling loved, loving myself, feeling good enough to dance and sing all day long.......
Excited: excited is anticipation for something marvellous, butterflies in my stomach painting rainbows of delight, waiting with baited breath for some fascinating happening full of newness and interest
Bright and breezy: bright and breezy is feeling like a summers day, tall grasses waving in a motion like the sea, early morning sunshine sparkling on frosted windows, fireworks lighting up a crisp winter nights sky.......
Open Hearted: open hearted is accepting everything you do with a smile, allowing everybody to be exactly as they are, loving your smile and your frown, expecting nothing and feeling as if I have everything, warm affectionate love for everyone......
Vibrant: vibrant is colourful, vivacious, tenacious, dressing to impress myself, radiating love and friendship to the world, emanating the glory of my soul......
Enthusiastic: enthusiastic is exuberant joy at seeing the fun on its way to my heart, welcoming the long awaited, the brand new experience, opening my arms wide to feel the ride, the puppy as it puts its head out the moving car window.....
When I think and talk about what joy is and what it feels like, I bring it closer to me, it comes into my reality, I begin to experience it, the loneliness, sadness and stress begin to ebb until eventually they are simply a shadow cast by the joy flowing through my body.
The mystics have long time written about the futility of looking for happiness outside of oneself, and personally I have tried that approach. I was sent a postcard by a friend about fifteen years ago, on it pilgrims treck up the side of a huge grey rock mountain and the caption reads 'there is no way to happiness, happiness is the way' and whilst I have always recognised the wisdom of the words, it was only recently that I really fully realised that I have to look for, imagine and activate the happiness which is inside me.
One shrine to the next, the hermit can't stop for breath
Soul, get this! you should have looked in the mirror.
Going on a pilgrimage is like falling in love
With the greenness of faraway grass.
Lalla (14th Century)
It is work to find happiness inside oneself, it requires will and intention, if it is not bubbling up on its own then some effort is required to cultivate it.
If my happiness is to be likened to a garden then I need to tend it as I would a garden, I need to spend time thinking how I would like it to be, I need to weed it and nourish it and water it. If I allow my garden to run wild, it could become overgrown with choking weeds.
Just like my garden I need to tend to my happiness, care for it and nurture it, I want it to bloom and grown into a startlingly beautiful magnificent lilly, or a lotus, or an ocean of fragrant jasmin.
I am determined to keep working on choosing good feeling thoughts, it is clear to me in this moment that my happiness is within me all the time, just like a friend, I can choose to experience it whenever I wish and some days it flows with ease whilst others it may require some digging to release it.
Today I am Thankful for the challenge
I am Thankful for encouragement from friends to carry on working on my truth
I am Thankful for the words which help me to find the feelings of joy within me
I am Thankful for my garden
I am Thankful for the first flowers of spring
I am Thankful for witnessing my baby's first crawl
I am Thankful for walnuts
I am Thankful for new songs
I am Thankful for new ways of being in the world
I am Thankful for new experiences of happiness from within