Today I had a magical drive while my baby slept peacefully beside me, and I visited a long barrow which is very special to me and I sat in the sun while my baby played with water and the long grass.
While the skylarks sang overhead I had time to contemplate the nature of being and I opened my heart to receive the wisdom I needed to comprehend why certain things keep happening in my life and what I can do to change them.
What came of this contemplation was a very sure understanding of how my feelings about things, based on past experiences and conclusions about life, of how those feelings effect my presence in the world. I think there should be a word to represent the state somewhere between a thought and a feeling; it seems to me that a thought is something generated deliberately by the mind, consciously or unconsciously, and a feeling is a response to thoughts or external sensual stimuli. I am imagining the something between thoughts and feelings as a kind of hazy green bubble of energy, inside which are the memories which led me to certain conclusions about life.
If this bubble floats around my being (actually I am now remembering that I have heard this idea described as a kind of matrix which extends outwards from the body, and remembering that memories have no physical storage place in the brain), anyhow I am enjoying my analogy so I shall carry on with it!
Yes so the hazy green bubble floats around my being and it meets with other peoples hazy green bubbles and interacts with them influencing our behaviour towards each other. Ok, its a tiny little bit far out, but so is electricity, homoeopathy and well, life itself actually. I don't mind if you think it's nonsense, it makes sense to me.
So what? So, if I want to look at myself and I am having trouble clearly seeing what my underlying limiting beliefs are about life, I only need to look at my interactions with other people, for example what people talk about when they are around me, and if I am honest enough with myself I will be able to see what part of myself they are reflecting.
I love this idea, for me it is an extension of being 100% responsible for everything which I encounter (an idea which I have fought with for a long time, but which is greatly preferable to that of being a hapless powerless victim to whom things simply 'happen').
If there is no separation and we are all intrinsically connected to each other it would make perfect sense that our hazy green bubbles would interact as they rub against each other. The atoms which make up my body have been around since the dawn of the world, we are stardust! and we are part of the Great Mystery.
It seems a wonderful thing to me that you or anyone else for that matter can help me to see what I need to do to grow as a being, I simply need to look at the reflection you hold for me.
Life is Magical, Beautiful and incredibly Interesting!
Today I am Thankful for the wisdom which sunshine and beautiful places brings when I listen
I am Thankful for the peaceful time my baby had while I was driving
I am Thankful for beautiful feathers
I am Thankful for delicate spring flowers
I am Thankful for my hazy green bubble
I am Thankful for friends
I am Thankful for the times when people cook for me
I am Thankful for the song of Robins late at night
I am Thankful for stone
I am Thankful for wood