I have had a difficult day today, I have been full of mixed feelings and I have found it very hard to choose the good feeling thoughts over the rubbish ones!
I have a very firm idea that anything is possible, but also I have a whole selection of extra persistant thoughts which go against that very idea. I suppose they must be my limiting beliefs! Well today I decided to examine them more closely, I am amazed by what I revealed to myself by examining my own thoughts and feelings.
The irony for me of examining my beliefs was the discovery that my most secret inner limiting belief is that I am basically a bad person and I can never have what I really want! Am I really going to write that in my blog for all the world to see? (well some of it anyway). Well yes actually I am. And if it's not plain enough, the reason I find this ironic is because if anything is possible then how can I never have what I really want?
I am smiling as I write this, the humour of it does not escape me. Plus I feel brave for being myself and telling the truth about my innermost limiting beliefs. If I am not honest with myself then I do not have much chance of moving beyond the limiting paradigm in which I am currently living.
This belief that I cannot have what I really want has an effect upon so much of what I do, it is almost as if I may as well not even try because I know that I will fail before I have even set out! Don't get me wrong though, there is a lot more to my personality than just thinking I will not succeed! I also have a very strong streak of tell me I can't have it and I will be even more determined to get it, and a fairly large dose of I've started so I'll finish, which often helps me get through some of the tougher challenges in life!
Right now I am thinking that if I can get beyond the boring old belief that I can never have what I really want, and truly begin a new paradigm, what would I like it to be? I think I shall go for "I can have whatever I want" If I mix that in with tell me I can't have it and I will be more determined and, I've started so i'll finish, I will be like a human cannon ball! I like that idea! A powerful being indeed.
We are all meant to shine as children do, and I intend to shine. I don't really know quite how to shake off limiting beliefs, I think properly identifying them and shining the bright light of love on to them is a good start. I have already started doing EFT (emotional freedom technique or tapping) for this belief, so I think I am off to a good start.
This evening I spent some time while my baby was falling asleep visualising having some of the things which I would like to experience in my life, as if I already have them. It always feels lovely when I do this. Almost none of the things I would like are material, most are very simple needs being met, I would like to be able to play music, read a book or do yoga while my baby occupies herself.
I think that the main point I would like to remember about my current paradigm and behaviour is that if I sit around feeling glum about not being able to do the things which I really enjoy, then nothing will change. If however I start to imagine how lovely it will be when I can do the things which I enjoy, I will already feel much better. This kind of work takes both determination and will. It is really hard for me to start feeling good about something which I feel I don't have!
The basic truth for me at the moment is that feeling good, healthy, bright, and joyful is where it's at! Feeling bad and miserable does nothing whatsoever for me! Feeling miserable achieves nothing, it is purposeless.
Of course being grateful for all the wonderful things I do experience in my life is a fantastic way of bringing myself back into joy, and finally coming back right into the present is the most brilliant tool in the happiness box. Sitting around wishing I was doing something else stops me noticing how lovely the present is and how fortunate I am to be sharing it with a beautiful brand new being.
I really am blessed.
I know that I am well on the way to a magical paradigm shift! I am very excited. As usual writing my blog has helped me to shift the residual grumblyness left over from my day that I was feeling. Hooray for good humour, hooray for the spilling out onto the page of life!
Today I am thankful for my taste-buds for bringing flavour to my life
I am Thankful for the feeling in my fingertips
I am Thankful for the quiet in my house
I am Thankful for the opportunity to grow
I am Thankful for green tractor paint
I am Thankful for the knowledge that misery achieves nothing and leads nowhere
I am Thankful for the knowledge that joy feels wonderful and lives within me
I am Thankful for shield bugs
I am Thankful for the time I saw dinosaur foot prints
I am Thankful for all my happy memories which I can think about when I need a smile on my face