Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Wild Horses of Gratitude!


Hooray, it's the morning and here I am writing my blog! Recently I have only been managing to turn up on the page last thing at night, and have written my posts feeling tired and a bit lacklustre!

I had an interesting challenge this morning (interesting for me anyway!), I had a disappointment about some money which I thought I had, and on discovering that I did not have it after all, I felt my old habitual response to that kind of experience beginning; the anger and disappointment began to rise like a giant wave in the sea coming to engulf me, "you'll never have enough" shouted the white horses galloping towards me on the crest of the waves "you have been cheated......."

"Oh really" I thought, and I looked the white horses in the eye and quickly put up some hurdles for them to jump over to give me some time to think how else I could react. "It's only money" I thought, "there is plenty more of it in the world, after all the Royal Mint is forever printing it and circulating it!" 
Do I really want my focus to be lack? No actually I don't! I was only just saying yesterday how I would like to shift my focus more onto all the great things in my life which I can be thankful about if I just take a moment to enjoy them. 
So that is just what I did, I shone my beam of light on the good stuff, the stuff which makes my heart feel glad, and straight away the wild eyed horses simply turned to foam, the bottom fell out of the giant wave and it slipped away into the warmth of my heart for all that is wonderful in the world! HA! 

This experience and others like it have been highlighting for me a couple of things, firstly that I do have a choice about how I react to the things which occur around me, there is no need to be consumed with bad feelings when things don't go according to plan. Secondly reactions like this one highlight for me that I would like to address my relationship to abundance and lack, it seems to me that at the moment a lot of my less harmonious reactions are associated with a fear of lack or an acceptance of it as my lifestyle norm or my world view.

It's not just a lack of money which my mind seems attached to, it's also a lack of time to get things done and to care for myself and my family. Lack in general. There is not enough to go around, in my mind at least. How dull! How limiting! How old, Goodbye lack lack lackitty lack. 

Just as I was writing this my baby woke up from her morning sleep, I was disappointed, not to see her beautiful face, but because she did not sleep for long and I was really enjoying writing and telling my tale. There it was, another opportunity to step aside from my normal reactions! 
I looked at her jolly face, she is so joyful and full of smiles, she has such a cheeky toothy grin and so much enthusiasm for life, so I embraced the whole moment and sat down to play with her, and after a while I discovered that she was happy for me to carry on writing. 

So that's it! Today I feel as if the Universe is giving me opportunities to practice CHOOSING GOOD FEELING THOUGHTS, when my pattern would be to go with the unharmonious feeling ones. What a delightful and enriching way to view the world, that every challenge, every irritation can be an opportunity to grow, to get better at being me, to get better at being human and having a wonderful life! 

Today I have gratitude for the challenges which help me to grow
I have gratitude for the intensity of my feelings 
I have gratitude for the cheeky smile on my baby's face
I have gratitude that things are rarely what they seem
I have gratitude that my world changes all the time
I have gratitude for the morning song of the blackbird
I have gratitude for the joy of enthusiasm
I have gratitude for the sound of church bells in the distance on a hazy day
I have gratitude for the stunning colour of the sunrise this morning
I have gratitude for the white horses on the crest of the waves

love Klara. 

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