I wrote a post recently and in it I touched on the idea that I have a specific relationship with abundance and lack in my life. Upon that realisation I realised that I need to investigate that relationship and see if I can dig it up at the roots and plant new seeds of abundance, to grow into bountiful blossoms to illuminate and adorn my life.
The discovery of this lack-relationship has come about gradually, at first I think some helpful human probably pointed it out to me, and I probably didn't quite get what they were saying; in the past I have rarely enjoyed having my faults pointed out by other people, my ego much preferred spotting them myself and announcing them before denouncing them!
I started to notice how carefully I look after my belongings, in the past I was convinced that my attentiveness to my possessions was from an attitude of simple care and a desire to not take more than I need from Mother Earth, surely I said to myself, this is an honourable behaviour! and while I definitely advocate only taking what I need from the Earth, when I feel it out I'm not so sure that that is all that motivates my extreme care.
It is becoming abundantly clear to me now that the greater part of me which motivates the care I take over material things is a belief in lack. "Oh Hurrah, a new challenge" I said to myself. This one really does feel like a challenge too, I feel as if I am up against thirty-seven years of money not growing on trees and can't afford its. How firmly those phrases have been pressed into my mind and my vocabulary!
I wonder how it would be to have grown up in a household where money never gets mentioned? I am not suggesting an upbringing where one does not care for material things, but one where the motivation for that caring is simply because we take from the Earth when we manufacture things, by hand or machine, and when things are no longer usable some of them take rather a long time to return to the Earth in a useful way (think plastics and metals for example). Perhaps this is a limiting paradigm in itself, the idea that the Earth cannot cope effectively with things which are made from it seems a bit unimaginative in itself?
In many ways for me it seems like a language thing, the way that I am used to explaining this story, particularly to my children, is habitually about lack; "Mummy please can I have that revolting plastic toy?" "No, sorry we can't afford it, I don't have the money for that this week" this sounds so much about lack and limitations, and seems like the automatic response, the easy way to answer and also the most unrewarding.
Perhaps there is an ethos which I can explain to myself and my children using beautiful language and a full understanding of abundance that expresses my feelings about consumerism and materialism?
Going into town, and indeed the world can be a bit of a sensory overload! There is so much out there that one could spend money on if one had a desire to do so and the money to do it! Sometimes it seems like people make their living out of selling stuff we don't really need to each other!
I know in my heart that I can always have the things I really need, I always eat well, sleep in a comfortable bed and have adequate shelter, the rest of life is the adventure! Happiness comes from inside of me, and I can find it there whenever I look for it, happiness is in my visions and my memories, it is in my mind and my creativity, and in my body in my senses and my leaping, dancing, moving life.
Happiness has nothing whatsoever to do with lack, money, or abundance, it seems to me that they are not really even loosely connected. When I am connected to Source, Spirit, Love, God or whatever I am comfortable calling it, I feel wonderful, everything I need comes to me!
So the association with lack and materialism must really be a red herring! A distraction! Connection to Source means Flow, Joy flows and energy flows and we are just energy, spiritual beings having a physical experience, so I guess that for now the answer for me is to remember my connection to Source, slip back into the flow of well being and relax!
With thoughts of lack I must relax, not lack but re-lacks! Relax in to the flow of abundance......
Today I am Thankful for the clarity which comes with writing in my flow
I am Thankful for the constant flow of well being
I am Thankful for the kaleidoscope of life
I am Thankful for the time to write
I am Thankful for the peace in my heart and in my home
I am Thankful for the joy I feel to be alive
I am Thankful for the swings in the park behind my house
I am Thankful for my baby's peaceful sleep
I am Thankful for the enthusiasm for life which my children have
I am Thankful for my wonderful body